


Restless

by Finnlay, Nausi



Series: A heavy heart to carry [2]
Category: Marvel (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Anal Sex, Casual Sex, Emotions, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends With Benefits, Get Together, M/M, Oral Sex, Romance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 16:09:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14752058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finnlay/pseuds/Finnlay, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nausi/pseuds/Nausi
Summary: Drabble #02:They meet up at the same place, for the same thing, at the same time. It's almost a sort of routine at this point. Except that things aren't at all the way they should be today.





	Restless

I was born the restless kind  
And I never assume what I'm gonna find  
I can stand my ground, I can slip through a crack  
Just as sure as I leave, honey I'll be back  
I can hold my temper, I can bide my time  
I can hold my own, I'm the restless kind

**Travis Tritt - The Restless Kind**

* * *

It had to end. There was no question of that. Bobby was well aware that what he was doing wasn’t healthy, that it wasn’t good for either of them. The thing was that he didn’t really care. There were precious few moments when he felt alive, and most of those moments came in random hotel rooms with those bright eyes on him. 

There was a chance Daken wouldn’t show. It didn’t matter that it had been two and a half months since they saw each other last. Bobby wasn’t sure that these meetings meant the same thing to Daken as they meant to him. Talking about feelings and needs and hopes had no place in what they did. It was forbidden, not by any stated rule, but mutual innate understanding. Neither of them had put words to what this was, to what they were to each other. Bobby was certain that naming it would kill it. He was far more certain of that than of Daken making any appearance at all.

He paced the carpeted floor anxiously, restless in the same way a starving lion would be. Daken had made the reservation. The hotel had known to expect him, but that was still no guarantee. There were a million reason for Daken not to show and so few for him to. Bobby pushed his hands through his hair and glanced at the gilded mirror as he passed. He was dressed well, meticulously even. The patterned chocolate brown and aqua button up was fitted, and the rolled up sleeves showed off his strong arms and throat to great advantage. The tight acid wash jeggings made his ass look impossible and drew attention to the fact that he was build like a dancer. Bobby didn’t move like one, his motions were very much thoughtless and lucky, none of the confidence he had on the battlefield made it into his walk or posture. Especially not now, now when he was waiting. As he stood there, looking at himself Bobby traced the lines of his blatant belt buckle, the X was a declaration of what and who he was. Not just a mutant, but an Xman, one of _the_ Xmen. He had to wonder if it would be different, if Daken would be so reluctant if Bobby wasn’t who he was. It was a stupid and useless thought.

Daken was late. The woman at the reception had given him a bit of trouble for looking the way he did. It was not that she hadn’t seen him come in bloody before but usually Daken was fully _healed_ by the time he came here. Her concern had been unwelcome though and he brushed her off, slid her an extra hundred dollars and then finally got to get into the elevator. Normal people with their worries about injuries were always annoying and inconvenient. It was not like Daken was about to die.

Without knocking he entered the room they always picked and immediately noticed the scent of worry, anxiety and regret. “Bobby?” Coming from the little entrance area into the living and sleeping room, he arched a brow, “You okay?” _Hu, look at you. All dressed up. Something special today?_

“What in the seven frozen hells happened to you Daken?” Despite Bobby’s melancholy and anxiety he was quick to action. His eyes moved over Daken’s form, not appreciating, but concerned with seeing if the wounds were healed or healing. 

“Unfortunate timing of … an old colleague.” Waving a hand dismissively he approached Bobby, shedding his coat on the way. “I’m healing. I would have waited to come here until I was all fixed but then you would have left thinking I wouldn’t show.”

 _No, I would’ve waited all night which means I’m glad you didn’t make me wait. There’d be little doubt of my feelings for you if you found me here at midnight worrying and waiting._ Bobby reached out and put his hands on Daken’s shoulders, unworried about the blood. What he needed was to touch Daken and assure himself that he was really there and truly healing. “Who?”

“Someone of no importance or value.” Reaching up he stroked Bobby’s cheek and then sighed, “I will need a shower before … well, anything. I don’t plan to get blood all over you. It’s a rather messy thing.”

Rather than speak Bobby started to unbutton Daken’s dress shirt. It had previously been white, but now it was a sort of gory red splatter with holes. Anything he said or asked would give too much away, there was no hiding his concern, no masking his eagerness, so he chose silence for once in his life. 

Daken let the silence stretch as he simply moved for Bobby as needed. Only once he was laid bare to these icy blue eyes did he speak, “Will you join me, Snowflake? Might as well make the best out of that shower …”

“Yes.” With fingers that were pink with Daken’s blood Bobby reached down and started to undress himself. The belt went first, followed closely by his sneakers. 

“Allow me …” Despite the still healing cuts and bruises he set into undressing Bobby with great care. There was something pleasing about the intimacy of the act and it gave Daken a bit of breathing room to calm down. Adrenaline was still running high and he felt twitchy with the need to keep looking over his shoulder for danger that wasn’t there.

The shirt, pants, underwear, and even socks all came off in what seemed like no time at all. Daken’s hands moved over Bobby’s skin in an almost reverent way. It was soothing, and served a similar purpose for him as it had for Daken, a sort of transition, a transformation. They were no longer indifferent peers, they were, at least for a little while, lovers. Bobby put his arms around Daken’s neck and leaned in for a needy kiss, totally indifferent to the remaining blood. 

Kissing back with a low moan he wrapped Bobby into his arms. For the span of a night, he could pretend this was more than it was. That they would not part ways in the morning and go back to the usual until the next meeting. “Mh, shower or bath?”

“Both.” Bobby could taste a copper tang on his tongue. It didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered now was touching. With their fingers intertwined Bobby pulled Daken along and started the shower. It was a bit awkward one handed but he refused to let go. 

With a chuckle he followed and let Bobby keep holding his hand. It was sweet, the concern and the sudden clinginess. Daken wasn’t used to Bobby being this open with affection that was not quite sexual but rather emotional. “The receptionist tried to call the ambulance on me. Think she’s come to like me and the incredible tips I give.”

“You’re an easy man to love.” Bobby spoke without looking at Daken and then pulled him into the shower. “You aren’t going to tell me who it was?”

“Bullseye. I had heard he was alive and had been giving the Old fucker version of Wolverine some trouble but I didn’t think he’d come after me. Got away too. Could have chased him but I had a date.”

That sent a thrill through him, the knowledge that Daken had wanted to see him so bad he’d let Bullseye get away. Bobby pulled Daken up against himself and kissed him hard on the mouth. It was no careful or gentle gesture this time. 

Without hesitation he kissed back, lips parting for Bobby willingly. Less talk and more touch was good. Daken knew himself and he knew he’d say regretful and stupid things if they kept making conversation. Things that would ruin this permanently and take away the one moment of peace he had to look forward to. Laura had warned him, told him that this would end badly and he still believed that she was absolutely right. It was just that he had went into this too deep to care now.

Bobby’s hands moved up and down Daken’s back, restless and desperate to touch and feel. When he felt words aching in his throat he pushed their bodies against the tiled wall and moaned louder. Daken would never ever give into this unspoken thing between them. That was clear. _If_ Daken felt for Bobby the way Bobby wanted him to feel then it went double. Bobby believed him and took him at his word, _‘I would never make someone I love into a target, that is what they would become. I have too many enemies to love anyone I don’t have to.’_ Still Bobby wanted to believe that Daken loved him, that he kept showing up not because the sex was mind blowing, but because he was as addicted to Bobby’s scent as Bobby was to the silkiness of Daken’s hair, and the rich dark quality of his laugh. 

“Bobby …” His voice was breathless and his hands were moving over skin with the same desperation as Bobby’s own hands. “Forget the bath … I want you to take me to bed and fuck me.” It was the one thing Daken had been avoiding over the past year and a half. They met usually around once a month and the temptation had certainly been there but it took a whole of a lot more trust and readiness to be vulnerable than Daken wanted to admit he had for Bobby. Today he didn’t care.

There was surprise but Bobby didn’t waste any time on that. He could be surprised while he was balls deep in Daken. To that end he turned the water off, Daken was mostly not bloody anymore, and pushed him out of the shower. Getting dried off was not a priority, not when intimacy was on the table. Everything they did drove Bobby insane with desire, but normally anal wasn’t part of it. He’d bottomed twice, Daken never had. Once they were in the bed and the lube was in his hand Bobby asked, “You mean it?”

“Yes.” Daken lied back and spread his legs with a smirk, “I make some questionable jokes but not about this. Never about sex.” It was cute, the eagerness. The want. Bobby _wanted_ him and Daken could not help himself, he savored that feeling.

Though Bobby wanted to say something in answer to that all he did was put a generous squirt of lube on his fingers before he leaned down to kiss over Daken’s hips. He wanted the thick liquid to be warm before he started, but he couldn’t trust himself not to say something regrettable if he didn’t keep busy. So he nuzzled in against his cock while he rubbed the lube between his fingers. 

With a soft gasp he curled his fingers in Bobby’s hair and bucked his hips. The hot breath alone would have been enough to make him go from barely half hard to full interested but Bobby was being all cute and nuzzling against him. It was unfair. “Be nice to me … it’s been a long time since I did this. Not that you could ever actually _hurt_ me but yeah …”

“I will be gentle.” Bobby pushed his fingers against the ring of tight muscle between Daken’s cheeks with confidant pressure. Still not trusting himself to speak Bobby quickly wrapped his lips around the considerable girth of Daken’s cock. The texture and taste of it made him moan rather loudly. 

The heat and wetness surprised him enough to distract from the quick burn and stretch of curious fingers breaching him. Daken let himself focus on Bobby’s mouth around him to bridge that brief moment of panic. There were many, many reasons why he hadn’t done this. Wanting to stay detached was only one of them. The moment passed though and then he was eagerly pushing back. It felt good, better than he remembered.

There was no worry about making Daken come and then having to wait. Enhanced stamina was a glorious thing in the bedroom. Bobby bobbed his head with enthusiasm as he spread his fingers _inside_ Daken. His own cock jumped between his legs as he delighted in the taste of Daken. It was freeing to act and made him stop thinking, stop worrying. Whatever happened they would have this moment, and that was enough. Once he felt Daken start to relax Bobby stopped stretching and started exploring, curious about the position of and best angle of a very specific little gland. 

Bobby was not going to stop sucking, that became clear quickly and Daken almost laughed. The first time they had sex after a mission where Laura had called him in, Bobby had been _delighted_ to find out that a healing factor equaled basically zero refractory period. More than a year later and Bobby was still having fun with that. Any such coherent thought was pushed aside when these curious fingers found his prostate and Daken was reduced to moaning and mumbling something that vaguely sounded like encouragement.

 _Oh fuck yes, come for me Daken. Love those sounds. Come for me -- !_ Bobby was delighted when the hot salty mass shot off inside his mouth. Daken’s hips came up off the bed as he came and Bobby moaned louder, swallowing every last drop neatly. 

His fingers tightened in the thick curls and then let go all at once as he went pliant. Bobby looked ridiculously pleased with himself and Daken couldn’t help smiling, “You’ve gotten way too good at that. Anyone who shares your bed will be forever disappointed by their next partner.”

“Shut up idiot!” The words came out harsher than Bobby wanted them to, but he hated it when Daken talked like that, when he started in about all the other people Bobby was going to fuck. He sat up on his knees and covered his cock in lube that he had not bothered to warm up, he didn’t care, it was hardly noticeable. What he cared about was how it felt to fit the head of his cock against Daken’s ass. 

_Sore spot? What’s going on?_ Daken wanted to ask, wanted to know but he was a bit distracted by the cock pushing against him, nudging his hole. “Easy, Snowflake … kiss me.” Pulling Bobby down into a kiss he moaned softly and willed himself to open up and take it.

It did not escape Bobby, even while he was frustrated with Daken, that there were clear signs of nervousness. The kiss started tender and stayed that way. His hands held Daken’s hips firmly, and he used consistent pressure. It was firm, but there was nothing hurried about it. Bobby felt himself aching, knew he was leaking with need, but did not rush. 

The care and carefulness made his heart ache and Daken kept himself from saying stupid mushy shit by setting his lips to Bobby’s neck and starting to suck, intend on leaving a hickey behind. Something Bobby would need to cover if he didn’t want questions. The burn was nothing and when no panic crept up in him after Bobby bottomed out, Daken just moaned and let himself go. This was fine. This was _good_. He had made the right call.

Only one of them could suck on the other’s neck at once. With Daken already so employed Bobby was left to thrust in, moan aloud, and fight against his own feelings. Despite what Daken had said in the shower and Bobby’s own apparent temper the motions of his hips were no more rough than the most tender of their kisses. It didn’t surprise him that it felt incredible, what did surprise him was how _right_ it felt. They fit together, and there was a trust between them that could no longer be denied. Bobby wrapped his arms around Daken and rolled his hips, almost too breathless to speak, “Love, oh love …”

“Don’t …” Daken whispered it and then kissed Bobby hard, only for a moment before continuing, “Don’t say that, don’t lie. You’ve never lied to me.” Another kiss, this time longer but no less desperate.

At first Bobby had been worried, then the kisses had started, and he’d felt how Daken’s body clung to him. Though most of the blood that could be spared was in his cock Bobby’s brain managed to work a few things out as they kissed. When they parted for breath Bobby murmured, “Not lying … not - feels so good, oh Daken I … not lying I - oh I love you!”

< _Idiot! > _Daken felt the tears burning in his eyes and he angrily blinked and kept kissing Bobby. This was not supposed to happen. Bobby was meant to move on after a while. Just find someone who actually fit to him and have a good sex life with whoever that was because he’d learned a few things during their time. Bobby was _not_ supposed to fall in love with him.

 _Kissing noises_. “Mm - I know -” _Kissing sounds_ , “- that word!” _Moaning._ “M’not! Oh god Daken, so good, close, close, Daken …”

There was a hand around his cock and Daken moaned loudly, completely uncaring if someone heard them. He paid this place well to be able to do whatever the hell he wanted. And right now he wanted to be loud as he came in Bobby’s hand and felt the body above him shiver in shared, simultaneous euphoria.

The pleasure was intense, more so than just about any other time. Later, when Bobby reflected on this he would know it was the emotions, the stress, the uncertainty. In that moment though all he knew was that he was clinging to Daken, kissing on him, and drifting in an intense swell of pleasure. 

For several minutes they just lied there and breathed. It felt like eternity until Daken finally managed to make himself move and then his motions were more sluggish than he usually allowed for, even though he still effortlessly pinned Bobby down beneath him, wrists held with one hand. “Take it back.” His voice sounded strained and rough, “You don’t love me, you can’t.”

It was not how he had imagined this moment, not even the times he’d had nightmares about it. Bobby had figured on Daken just getting dressed and walking out on him, or that was the worst thing he could imagine. It was what haunted him. The best things, well, he’d never expected any of that so he wasn’t at all surprised that Daken wasn’t cuddling him and teaching him how to say ‘I love you’ in Japanese. He was surprised that he was pinned down and that Daken was so aggressively demanding he take back his words. It broke something, whatever part of him that might have been willing to pretend, it was completely gone. Bobby stared up into those brilliant eyes and spoke confidently, “Why do you think I keep coming back? You are painfully beautiful, sure, but really? You thought this was just sex for me?”

That made him laugh and it was a hysterical laugh which turned bitter before he spat out, “What else? It’s all I’ve ever been good for. I’m a slut, a whore occasionally. This, someone coming back for more sex and only the sex? That’s nothing to me. It’s what I was made for.”

“What do you call someone who falls for a whore Daken? If that is what you are then that’s what I am.” Bobby still did not struggle. If Daken was holding him down they were touching, this wasn’t over. It was the part where Daken left that Bobby feared. 

“Stop saying that!” There was anger but above all desperation. Daken didn’t know what he was supposed to do with a confession like that. No one had ever bothered to tell him. Teach him. The only person he had ever ‘loved’ had been the monster that haunted his dreams now. “Stop …” His voice broke and Daken leaned down, his hands letting go as he buried his face in the crook of Bobby’s shoulder to hide tears that shouldn’t be happening.

Bobby put his arms around Daken and held on tightly. It hurt his heart but this was still a better outcome than Daken leaving. “I love you.” The words were shaky not because Bobby was unsure, but because there were tears running down his face too. “Daken, I love you. I am in so far there’s no hope of ever getting out.”

“Shut up.” Closing his eyes he just let himself cry as he clung to Bobby. “Shut up and just … I can’t … this is all I’ve got to offer, Bobby. I’m not … I won’t ever belong where you are. The school isn’t my place.”

“I don’t care about the how Daken.” Bobby got his hands on either side of Daken’s face, forced Daken to look at him, “I love you and if you love me too then … well we’ll figure something out.” There was doubt. Bobby wasn’t certain that Daken loved him. It was what he wanted to believe, but he couldn’t be sure.

All the answer Daken gave was to turn his head and kiss Bobby’s palm. There was no chance in hell that he would just say _that_.

“I’m restless Daken. I don’t even fit in at the school anymore.” Bobby watched as Daken kissed his palm again, “Maybe I just want to run away. Maybe all I’ve been waiting for is something better, someone worth starting over with.”

“You are insane.” Rolling over he lied there and looked contemplative. This was a mess. He had meant to end it today. Make sure to let Bobby go before something stupid like this could happen. Now it already had. “I can’t think about this now. Just … just hold me, idiot.”

Bobby grabbed Daken and kissed his shoulder. They didn’t know what came next, and Bobby wasn’t sure Daken would accept him, but there was a strange sort of peace in the moment all the same. If nothing else Bobby would be able to say he’d tried. 

For a long while they just lied there and Daken let his thoughts wander. It was when they both seemed ready to fall asleep that he whispered, “Come with me tomorrow … I’m heading to Madripoor.”

“Yes.” Bobby nodded and held Daken against him more tightly. It might have been pure foolishness, but Bobby didn’t care. “I’ll go with you.”


End file.
